הפרופיל המוושלם שלי (: e

לפני 10 חודשים, 28 ימים ו- 6 שעות

לד שואל את המורה שלו: המורה יש למורים אקדחים?
המורה עונה לו: לא, למה?
הילד אומר לה: אז למה המורות אומרות 'אתה על הכוונת שלי'?

ילד אחד ואבא שלו צופים בטלוויזיה. הילד שואל: "למה לחתול יש 4 רגלים?" אבא שלו עונה לא יודע. אחרי חצי שעה הוא שואל "למה הירח לבן?" אבא שלו שוב עונה לא יודע. אחרי חצי שעה הילד שואל שוב "אבא, אני מפריע עם כל השאלות שלי?" אבא שלו עונה: "לא אכפת לי אם לא תשאל לא תדע..."

בעל שיכור נכנס הביתה וצועק על אישתו: "את ***ת". מסתכלת עליו אישתו ואומרת: "אתה שיכור". עונה הבעל: "נכון, אבל לי זה יעבור בבוקר"...

המורה: מי שחושב שהוא טיפש שיעמוד
אף תלמיד לא עומד חוץ מאחד
המורה: אתה באמת חושב שאתה טיפש?
התלמיד: לא, אבל לא נעים לי שאת עומדת לבד.

שאלה: מה משותף לבלונדינית ולסלולרי במקלט? תשובה: לשניהם אין קליטה..

עריכת בלוג

כותרת:

טקסט:

Requests	0.046820 s
4,560.9844 kB
Benchmark	Min	Max	Average	Total
"blog/אלונוששש/7353" (1)	0.047096 s	0.047096 s	0.047096 s	0.047096 s
4,570.7500 kB	4,570.7500 kB	4,570.7500 kB	4,570.7500 kB

Requests

0.046820 s

4,560.9844 kB

Benchmark

Min

Max

Average

Total

"blog/אלונוששש/7353" (1)

0.047096 s

4,570.7500 kB

Kohana	0.001389 s
78.3125 kB
Benchmark	Min	Max	Average	Total
find_file (112)	0.000005 s	0.000037 s	0.000012 s	0.001389 s
0.4922 kB	2.4922 kB	0.6992 kB	78.3125 kB

Kohana

0.001389 s

78.3125 kB

Benchmark

Min

Max

Average

Total

find_file (112)

0.000005 s

0.000037 s

0.000012 s

0.001389 s

0.4922 kB

2.4922 kB

0.6992 kB

78.3125 kB

Database (default)	0.015183 s
90.2266 kB
Benchmark	Min	Max	Average	Total
(1)	0.000334 s	0.000334 s	0.000334 s	0.000334 s
2.2031 kB	2.2031 kB	2.2031 kB	2.2031 kB
SELECT `users`.`id`, `users`.`username`, `users`.`email`, `users`.`display_name`, `users_profile`.`title`, `users_profile`.`description`, `users`.`avatar`, `users_profile`.`youtube`, `users`.`points`, `users_profile`.`gender`, `users_profile`.`age`, `users_profile`.`bg`, `users_profile`.`font_weight`, `users_profile`.`font_color`, `users_profile`.`profile_frame`, `users_profile`.`website`, `users`.`last_login`, `users_pictures`.`picture` FROM `users` LEFT JOIN `users_profile` ON (`users`.`id` = `users_profile`.`mid`) LEFT JOIN `users_pictures` ON (`users`.`id` = `users_pictures`.`mid`) WHERE `users`.`id` = '313300' LIMIT 1 (2)	0.000240 s	0.000359 s	0.000299 s	0.000599 s
6.3594 kB	6.8281 kB	6.5938 kB	13.1875 kB
SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `users_friends` (1)	0.000439 s	0.000439 s	0.000439 s	0.000439 s
4.4141 kB	4.4141 kB	4.4141 kB	4.4141 kB
SELECT DISTINCT `id`, `display_name`, `avatar`, `username` FROM `users_friends` LEFT JOIN `users` ON (`users_friends`.`fid` = `users`.`id`) WHERE `users_friends`.`mid` = '313300' AND `users_friends`.`status` = 'approved' (2)	0.000614 s	0.001373 s	0.000993 s	0.001987 s
4.7422 kB	4.7656 kB	4.7539 kB	9.5078 kB
SELECT * FROM `users_blogs` WHERE `users_blogs`.`blog_id` = '7353' AND `users_blogs`.`active` = 1 (1)	0.000189 s	0.000189 s	0.000189 s	0.000189 s
5.9922 kB	5.9922 kB	5.9922 kB	5.9922 kB
SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `comments` (2)	0.000345 s	0.000386 s	0.000365 s	0.000731 s
4.5313 kB	4.5703 kB	4.5508 kB	9.1016 kB
SELECT * FROM `users_blogs_comments` LEFT JOIN `users` ON (`mid` = `users`.`id`) WHERE `blog_id` = '7353' AND `good_comment` = 0 ORDER BY `bcomment_id` DESC (1)	0.000215 s	0.000215 s	0.000215 s	0.000215 s
9.2891 kB	9.2891 kB	9.2891 kB	9.2891 kB
SELECT `quests_users`.`quest_id`, `quests`.`icon_name`, `quests`.`name` FROM `quests_users` LEFT JOIN `quests` ON (`quests_users`.`quest_id` = `quests`.`id`) WHERE `user_id` = '313300' AND `quest_passed` = 1 LIMIT 18 (1)	0.000153 s	0.000153 s	0.000153 s	0.000153 s
2.6406 kB	2.6406 kB	2.6406 kB	2.6406 kB
SELECT * FROM `files` LEFT JOIN `favorites` ON (`files`.`file_id` = `favorites`.`file_id`) WHERE `favorites`.`user_id` IN ('250699', '171675', '311208', '58945', '317810', '220712', '248602', '139708', '311462', '260305') LIMIT 12 (1)	0.000562 s	0.000562 s	0.000562 s	0.000562 s
20.6563 kB	20.6563 kB	20.6563 kB	20.6563 kB
SELECT `users_blogs`.`blog_id`, `users_blogs`.`title`, `users_blogs`.`views`, `users_blogs`.`added` FROM `users_blogs` WHERE `users_blogs`.`mid` = '313300' LIMIT 3 (1)	0.000189 s	0.000189 s	0.000189 s	0.000189 s
3.0000 kB	3.0000 kB	3.0000 kB	3.0000 kB
SELECT `trophy`, COUNT(`trophy`) AS `total_trophy` FROM `trophys_user_messages` WHERE `user` = '313300' GROUP BY `trophy` HAVING `total_trophy` >= 0 (1)	0.009460 s	0.009460 s	0.009460 s	0.009460 s
2.3750 kB	2.3750 kB	2.3750 kB	2.3750 kB
SELECT COUNT(`quest_passed`) AS `total_trophy` FROM `quests_users` WHERE `user_id` = '313300' GROUP BY `quest_passed` HAVING `total_trophy` >= 0 (1)	0.000171 s	0.000171 s	0.000171 s	0.000171 s
2.1250 kB	2.1250 kB	2.1250 kB	2.1250 kB
SELECT * FROM `categories_new` ORDER BY `position` ASC (1)	0.000154 s	0.000154 s	0.000154 s	0.000154 s
5.7344 kB	5.7344 kB	5.7344 kB	5.7344 kB

Database (default)

0.015183 s

90.2266 kB

Benchmark

Min

Max

Average

Total

(1)

0.000334 s

2.2031 kB

SELECT `users`.`id`, `users`.`username`, `users`.`email`, `users`.`display_name`, `users_profile`.`title`, `users_profile`.`description`, `users`.`avatar`, `users_profile`.`youtube`, `users`.`points`, `users_profile`.`gender`, `users_profile`.`age`, `users_profile`.`bg`, `users_profile`.`font_weight`, `users_profile`.`font_color`, `users_profile`.`profile_frame`, `users_profile`.`website`, `users`.`last_login`, `users_pictures`.`picture` FROM `users` LEFT JOIN `users_profile` ON (`users`.`id` = `users_profile`.`mid`) LEFT JOIN `users_pictures` ON (`users`.`id` = `users_pictures`.`mid`) WHERE `users`.`id` = '313300' LIMIT 1 (2)

0.000240 s

0.000359 s

0.000299 s

0.000599 s

6.3594 kB

6.8281 kB

6.5938 kB

13.1875 kB

SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `users_friends` (1)

0.000439 s

4.4141 kB

SELECT DISTINCT `id`, `display_name`, `avatar`, `username` FROM `users_friends` LEFT JOIN `users` ON (`users_friends`.`fid` = `users`.`id`) WHERE `users_friends`.`mid` = '313300' AND `users_friends`.`status` = 'approved' (2)

0.000614 s

0.001373 s

0.000993 s

0.001987 s

4.7422 kB

4.7656 kB

4.7539 kB

9.5078 kB

SELECT * FROM `users_blogs` WHERE `users_blogs`.`blog_id` = '7353' AND `users_blogs`.`active` = 1 (1)

0.000189 s

5.9922 kB

SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `comments` (2)

0.000345 s

0.000386 s

0.000365 s

0.000731 s

4.5313 kB

4.5703 kB

4.5508 kB

9.1016 kB

SELECT * FROM `users_blogs_comments` LEFT JOIN `users` ON (`mid` = `users`.`id`) WHERE `blog_id` = '7353' AND `good_comment` = 0 ORDER BY `bcomment_id` DESC (1)

0.000215 s

9.2891 kB

SELECT `quests_users`.`quest_id`, `quests`.`icon_name`, `quests`.`name` FROM `quests_users` LEFT JOIN `quests` ON (`quests_users`.`quest_id` = `quests`.`id`) WHERE `user_id` = '313300' AND `quest_passed` = 1 LIMIT 18 (1)

0.000153 s

2.6406 kB

SELECT * FROM `files` LEFT JOIN `favorites` ON (`files`.`file_id` = `favorites`.`file_id`) WHERE `favorites`.`user_id` IN ('250699', '171675', '311208', '58945', '317810', '220712', '248602', '139708', '311462', '260305') LIMIT 12 (1)

0.000562 s

20.6563 kB

SELECT `users_blogs`.`blog_id`, `users_blogs`.`title`, `users_blogs`.`views`, `users_blogs`.`added` FROM `users_blogs` WHERE `users_blogs`.`mid` = '313300' LIMIT 3 (1)

0.000189 s

3.0000 kB

SELECT `trophy`, COUNT(`trophy`) AS `total_trophy` FROM `trophys_user_messages` WHERE `user` = '313300' GROUP BY `trophy` HAVING `total_trophy` >= 0 (1)

0.009460 s

2.3750 kB

SELECT COUNT(`quest_passed`) AS `total_trophy` FROM `quests_users` WHERE `user_id` = '313300' GROUP BY `quest_passed` HAVING `total_trophy` >= 0 (1)

0.000171 s

2.1250 kB

SELECT * FROM `categories_new` ORDER BY `position` ASC (1)

0.000154 s

5.7344 kB

Application Execution (47)	0.037426 s	0.297227 s	0.075823 s	0.053650 s
4,774.3516 kB	5,585.8594 kB	5,345.1079 kB	5,500.4766 kB

Application Execution (47)

0.037426 s

0.297227 s

0.075823 s

0.053650 s

4,774.3516 kB

5,585.8594 kB

5,345.1079 kB

5,500.4766 kB